I suppose the weeks in between Thanksgiving and New Years are always a bit of whirlwind, but this year was especially so for our family. The Sunday after Thanksgiving, we celebrated Theodore's first birthday! It's hard to believe that it has now been over a year since he was born. Some of the details of that day I remember like they were yesterday, while others exist as blurry recollections shoved into little nooks and crannies of my long term memory, probably for the best. I'll just say that childbirth was the most out-of-body experience I have ever been through. I used to think that running a marathon would be the biggest physical accomplishment of my life. But now I can decidedly say that is not the case. I gave birth in a German hospital, which I was pretty anxious about leading up to the big day, knowing that there would be a lot of language barriers. But the nurse who tended to me when we checked in was an absolute Godsend. She taught me a breathing technique that helped me manage the contractions, which enabled me to go through labor and delivery without an epidural. I'm not saying it was easy though. In fact, I remember groaning to the midwife at one point that I thought I was dying. She assured me that I wasn't, but I truly felt like I was. Finally, after over an hour of pushing (the most physically exhausting hour of my life) and a quick dose of the sharpest and most awful pain I hope I'll ever endure, I heard Thomas say, "It's a boy!" And our lives were changed forever.

Theodore has definitely had an adventurous first year of life! By his first birthday, he had traveled to as many countries as months he had been alive. I wasn't always so adventurous with him though. I remember the early days when leaving the house gave me so much anxiety. He cried in the car. He cried in the stroller. Basically, it seemed that when he wasn't sleeping or eating, he was crying. Things felt especially hard for me being here, in an environment lacking family support and all the conveniences and comforts of life back in America. While I can now appreciate a lot of things about life in Europe, I will say that it definitely doesn't cater to personal conveniences. For example, you can't pay at the pump to get gas here and there's no drive-through ANYTHING, including ATM's--which is problematic when a lot of places won't take credit cards. These are all first world problems, I know. And not having drive-throughs never bothered me until having a baby, but now I totally appreciate the convenience of them. Oh and don't get me started on lack of parking and public bathrooms in Europe. All in all, I wouldn't trade the experiences and memories we have made here with Theodore over the past year, but it took me a long time to get to this point. I should admit that I spent the better part of that first year moping and feeling sorry for myself, wishing that I lived closer to friends and family. I envied moms who were able to get a break during the day by going to work, and I also envied the ones who had free grandparent babysitters at their disposal. I felt isolated, lonely, and depressed. And I also felt confused, because I had been led to believe that these were supposed to be the happiest months of my life. I'm not sure if it was hormones or circumstances that perpetuated these feelings, but I am now comforted in knowing that I was not alone. Most every other mom I have talked to about this, regardless of where she lives and whether or not she works outside the home, has felt this way at one point. However, it seems that social media makes us feel like we must be crazy and everyone else has it all together. Either that or they just have perfect babies. We all know social media is not reality, yet it continues to wield a pervasive power over our thoughts and perceptions. There is so much more I could say on this topic, but I'll get off my soapbox now and just say that I truly believe comparison is the thief of joy.

So anyway, from this past year of motherhood I have learned that almost everything is really just a phase. While we don't know exactly how long a particular phase will last, we can be assured that nothing will last forever. The key to joy in this journey, I think, is to acknowledge the things you love about each stage. Hold tight to those things, because they are fleeting, while taking comfort in knowing that the not-so-fun parts of the stage will also pass with time. Furthermore, you don't have to love every stage. Not loving a particular stage does not mean you don't love your child. Thomas and I agree that neither of us loved the new baby stage. We just don't do well with long bouts of extreme sleep deprivation. While I can appreciate how small and cute he is in pictures from that time, I really enjoy his age now. I love watching him learn new things every day as he explores the world around him. I love playing hide-and-seek and seeing his face light up when he finds me. I love his wobbly little steps toward me, and when he falls into my lap and wraps his arms around my neck to give me a big hug. I love the way he goes, "Ahh!" and sticks out his tongue after he takes a sip from his cup. I even love when he pushes the button to turn off the sound bar while we are playing music, because he immediately looks at me with the biggest grin and a proud little chuckle. (He thinks the word "No" is the funniest word he has ever heard. We are in trouble, right?) I just want to bottle it all up and put it on a shelf for a rainy day when I need a smile. So on his first birthday, we celebrated 12 months of hard work, breastfeeding, diaper changes, growth, humility, trials, self-sacrifice, learned patience, laughter, tears, joy, and the most unconditional love we have ever experienced. And while he had no idea what we were celebrating, he was more than willing to chow down on that cupcake.

And now to continue on with some more fun stuff--celebrating our last Christmas in Europe! We decided to go out with a bang and visit what is known to be one of the biggest and best Christmas markets in Europe--the Strasbourg Christmas Market. Strasbourg is a French city in the Alsace region, very near the border of Germany. The half-timbered houses and French/German cuisine reminded me of Colmar, but on a larger scale, being that Strasbourg is a bigger city. Oh but first we stopped in Trier, Germany along the way. To break up the drive, we decided, why not hit up another market in Germany too? Little dude can only handle two hours in the car at a time without having a meltdown, so this was more of a necessity really. But I am so glad we chose to stop in Trier.

Oh and my mom was here too! She flew in for TJ's birthday and stayed for a couple of weeks. When I was little girl going on trips with my mom and grandma, I remember we would always buy ornaments for the Christmas tree to remember all the places we went. I have tried to keep up this tradition for our family since being in Europe, and on this trip we bought a cute ornament from one of the vendors at the market in Trier. The man we bought the ornament from told us that he did the glassblowing while his wife did the painting. He also proudly informed us that Christmas ornaments were actually invented in the German town he hailed from, called Lauschau. We fact checked him later with a Google search and, sure enough, Christmas ornaments (or "baubles") were first made in Lauschau in the 16th century. Actually, the whole concept of the Christmas tree originated in Germany around this time. It wasn't a widely accepted practice for celebrating Christmas though, and was actually viewed as paganistic in America, until a sketch of Queen Victoria decorating her Christmas tree circulated through the news during the 19th century. Suddenly, every home in Europe and America had to have one. Interestingly, this same English Queen started the whole white wedding gown tradition as well. (A random fact I learned a few years ago). So we have Queen Victoria to thank for both Christmas trees and wedding dresses. What a trendsetter!

Anyway, back to the markets. So while we are on history, maybe you are wondering what exactly Christmas markets are and why all the fuss about them? Well, pretty much every town has their own Christmas market in this region of Europe, but the original Christmas markets started in the German-speaking part of Europe during the Middle Ages. Basically, the markets are just a collection of stalls selling various knick-knacks, often accompanied by a skating rink or a large Christmas tree, and always accompanied by yummy food and mulled wine--or "Glühwein" as it is called here in Germany.

In France they call mulled wine "Vin Chaud" we quickly learned while wandering the streets of picturesque Strasbourg.

Strasbourg was definitely a storybook setting for a Christmas market, and clearly everyone in Europe knows it. It was extremely crowded. There were several markets set up throughout the city, and we didn't attempt to navigate through any of them except one with our stroller. (Even without a stroller I think it would have been hectic and miserable, but I also just hate crowds). Furthermore, it's my feeling that once you've walked through one market, you've pretty much seen them all. So I was perfectly happy to stick to shopping and hanging out at the less crowded one. We had some delicious food, and everyone was happy.

(Including this guy!) TJ really enjoyed the spätzle and flammekueche, both of which were heavily doused with creme and cheese, as you can tell. And of course the adults washed it all down with Vin Chaud.

We wandered the less crowded areas of the city for a bit, before heading back to our apartment to allow TJ to nap in the pack n' play. (He wasn't napping too well in the stroller at this time).

Mom volunteered to stay back with TJ while Thomas and I went back out! We debated on getting another round of Vin Chaud to warm us up as we strolled through the city, but I opted for a coffee pick-me-up instead. We did a little shopping, perused a cute bookstore, picked up some yummy baked goods from a bakery, and just thoroughly enjoyed some quality time together. And I have to say, it was nice to not have to worry about hauling a stroller around for a while.

A few hours later, we all headed back out to see the markets come alive at night. (And so did everyone else). The crowds intensified to the point where there were moments when we literally couldn't move. Luckily I decided to put TJ in the carrier this time. Trying to push a stroller through a sea of people would have been awful. But once we got through the extremely congested areas, the scenery was quite magical.

Well, I guess TJ wasn't as amused as we were, haha. He put up with it for about an hour before he started getting antsy and fussy. The city center was way too crowded to even attempt to find a restaurant for all of us to eat dinner at, so we ordered take-out and headed back to the apartment. Thomas and I went out later to have a date night dinner and it literally took us over an hour to find a restaurant that had any open tables. I probably won't ever make it back to Strasbourg for a Christmas market, but if I ever do, I will definitely avoid going on a weekend again. But despite the crowds, we all had a great time.

TJ and I visited one more Christmas market to conclude our last holiday season in Europe. This one took place on the grounds of a castle in Germany, called Schloss Merode.

This one was super cute, and not too crowded for the stroller!

"Castles and shopping. What a snooze fest!" says TJ. I was a little nervous about how this outing would go down, because during the 45 minutes it took us to drive here, he was crying about half of the time. But once I got him out of the car and into the stroller, he happily dozed off, and stayed asleep the entire almost three hours that we were here! This was definitely a new record for his longest stroller nap ever.

So, there it is. Our last Christmas in Europe. We've officially Christmas marketed our way through four different countries during the past three years. Taking the tree down this year was a bittersweet realization that we have less than a year left in this little house we have called home in a small corner of Germany. While I look forward to what 2019 brings us, I reflect back on 2018 with great appreciation. It was a year full of emotional highs and lows, and a lot of growth for all three of us. We created so many fond memories together, from mundane moments at home to adventurous travels abroad. Thomas and I had a lot to celebrate as we watched fireworks popping up all across the horizon from our upstairs window, an annual sign of the beginning of the New Year in Germany. We made it to 2019--the year we will pack our little family up and finally move back to the USA!! We're now only a few European adventures away from starting a whole new adventure. So cheers, to the New Year! I have no doubt 2019 will have its own challenges, but we sure are excited for the ride.